What does it mean to want to be published in a book?

So it happened again. I submitted a poem I wrote to an anthology being put together by someone I know and it got accepted. You can find my poem along with countless other poems by some of the most talented poets in Southern California in the book A Poet is Poet No Matter How Tall an anthology by Raundi K. Moore-Kondo. While I'm honored to have been a part of the anthology, I don't think my name on the table of contents is gonna sell any books to anyone besides my parents. If I'm honest, I don't even have a clear recollection of which poem I submitted. I've missed most of the book release events that have happened lately. I've been adjusting to the hectic Fall 2013 season of Andyland: new job, new schedule, the changing weather affecting my sleep.

Raundi is one of the most motivated and talented poets I know. She loves the written word and teaches poetry to groups of home schooled kids. She invites poets from the area to help teach her classes and share there work. She has a website too. Oh what's this: http://www.theloveofwords.com/ a link to her website where you can find out about taking your Southern Californian children to so they can learn about poetry and expressing themselves through written verse? Why yes it is. How convenient for those that are interested in not raising Philistines, but instead well rounded individuals.

It feels strange to be published in something. I don't feel a connection to this new anthology, which was also the case for the last one. I suppose part of it has something to do with not getting to the book parties and events, but at least with this one I feel like my poem belongs in the anthology.

I still regret the poem I submitted to the other anthology. Now my poem about gifts to give loved ones who've died is in a book of poems about zombies. While reading humorous poems about the zombie outbreaks you run across mine; which just makes you feel uncomfortable in the context. I always felt like it shouldn't have been accepted, but the guy publishing it knew me and I'd kind of written the poem off a prompt he gave me in a writing group he'd run and he liked it a lot so he just put it in. I'm grateful I got to be associated with the book and the press, but I feel like I could have written (and subsequently did write) a better zombie themed poem.

The whole thing had me question a lot of my previous motivations in my work. I'd always wanted to have my name on the cover of a book. Not on the cover page of an ebook, but a physical object to have on a shelf. I am not sure that's a motivation I can follow anymore. I don't think there will be a sudden revival of people not buying shiny new tablet readers and instead spending more money for actual books. This doesn't mean I don't still want to get my work out there. I've just got to rethink my approach. I think 2014 will be a better year for me than the past few have been and it'll make my attempts at getting my work out there much easier. Now I just need to spend the rest of this year figuring out what my new approach will be.