BUELLMAGGEDON!

Buellmaggedon came and went. California survived having the full weight of awesomeness from two people with Buell DNA within it's borders. My little sister came out to visit two weeks ago.When I say little I mean a 26 year old sister. I have not seen any of my family in over a year. It was wonderful to spend time with her and start to show her some of the things that I have fallen in love with in California. The last time she had come to visit, I didn't know the area well enough at all to really show her around. Plus I had to work the entire time. This trip I had the entire week with her. I got to re-experience my favorite things in California with someone who was experiencing them for the first time.

We spent the week over-indulging in everything. Lots of trips to the candy store and as much delicious food as we could find. I was sad to see her go, but the whole trip had left an overall feeling of renewed love for where I am in my life. Her being here also got me thinking a lot about the past. A re-evaluation of how I became who I am and if that's who I want to be going forward through the rest of my life.

Very little of what I learned in college was useful outside of college, but there were a few noted exceptions.  One of those exceptions my class on the bible as a literary text. Specifically the lecture on the book of Revelations. The professor stressed from the onset that Revelations is apocalyptic writing; which is not to be confused with writing about THE Apocalypse. Apocalyptic writing is about how societies crumble and are reborn. It is the cycle of destruction and rebirth. It isn't the end of life, it is life.

I find that same cyclical pattern happening all around me. It as a cycle that I, and probably most people, have to go through. The loss of who you were and rediscovery of who you are. There are a lot of things that can trigger one of these sort of things in my life: the waxing and waning of that feeling of potential in myself, a broken heart, losing my job, losing a friend, etc. I can see it in my writing. I look back at past poems and journal entries and I can see the cycles playing out.

Since my sister's visit, I have felt like I'm on the upswing out of a mentally destructive period. I can see how much confidence I had been lacking in my own ideas and understandings of what I am living. I'm in the beginning of a rebuilding cycle. I am not sure what I'm building just yet, but I feel like something is boiling up inside my brain's guts and is going to find a way out of my head sooner or later.