I've been distracted from my writing with my gaming. The game requires a lot of spontaneous creativity and the write ups always have a lot more flavor than the actual game do, but I've not really focused on my strictly solo creative works. Even with the RPG stuff I've had a a few issues there too. Midway through the summer there was some...unpleasantness that had me in a strange place mentally. I feel like I've only recently dragged myself out of that funk.
Also come to find out from watching the show Very British Problems on Netflix that all my social anxiety and weirdness with dealing with people isn't my own fault. Turns out I'm genetically programmed to feel awkward in social situations and fret about every small detail of my social interactions and/or dealing with people. Maybe that was part of the appeal of poetry to me. Being given an excuse to express feelings without having to be direct with the person or the feelings. Watching the show feels a lot like someone is explaining my own psychiatric diagnosis to me in a more entertaining than clinical sorta way. It is a slight relief to know that I'm not alone with my awkward feelings.
I don't have big plans for fixing this blog, or even thoughts on what that would entail. Just like the Tweets I've been trying to send every day to no one in particular about the boring nothing new that is going on in my life, the idea is to just do it instead of making up excuses about why whatever I was thinking isn't good enough to be posted. I don't think anyone cares enough to complain. Besides, gotta start somewhere.
